Hello! I am still alive and kicken!
First things first, my Olivia is officially out of diapers and do you know what this means!?!?! My household no longer has babies! Was this exclamation point excitement or shock or disappointment? A little bit of all those emotions I guess! Excitement: because we no longer have to change dirty diapers and no longer have to purchase diapers! So do we save the $50 a month OR do I go shopping every month and spend $50?? hmmm decisions decisions! Shock: because I thought the day would never come! It's been a struggle potty training Olivia but my baby girl did it! Disappointment: because I no longer have a baby in my house! babies are so much fun! But so are my growing children, everyday they make me laugh and everyday I thank God for giving me such great loving children! So we have had some accidents but the one that I think I'll always remember is 4th of July, my Olivia was having a bit of a tantrum and during her tantrum she peepee on me! I was holding her on my lap trying to get her to calm down and she peepee! argh! When I stood up it looked like I peepee my pants! just great! I was also sitting on my newly bought camping/beachy chair and now it had peepee on it! yuck! Well needless to say, Olivia and I had to scrub down as soon as we got home that night from the most fun night of dancing and fireworks!
This week we received notice that baby Rene is officially enrolled in Preppy K ( 2-yr kindergarten program) and his teacher is Ms. Soto. Although initially baby Rene was not warming up to starting at a new school, he has now warmed up to the idea. I can't wait for my baby to start his first year of Kinder and learn all kinds of new things! I pray that he does well in school and makes new good friends!
So my little sister is engaged! Was that another exclamation point that meant excitement, shocked, or disappointment? hmm well it was excitement! I know my sister A is very young and perhaps has changed lanes too many times on the road of life, but her boy F is good for her. He appears to have grounded her and I have only seen good things come of this relationship. She is my sister and I support her to the end. And perhaps they are not starting their lives the way that others think it "right" but whose to say there is a "right" way or a wrong way to start something new in life. In the end things will always work out for the best! I bet not a lot of people thought big Rene and I would have made it this far in our marriage (5 yrs) but we have and although at times it's been a rocky road, we come out a stronger couple because the love we have for each other and our families keep us together. Love, isn't that what it's all about, isn't that what makes things work?
I have been LAZY! Sorry but I have not been able to wake up at 4:45am to go to the gym! ARGH it is soooooo hard! Why is it so hard to lose weight and so easy to gain it! WHY?!?! I returned to the gym this week and yesterday when I went to bootcamp, the instructor said that we are going to RUN to the park and exercise there and then RUN back......did I tell you that RUN is not in my vocabulary?!?! It's just not, but I tried and RAN to the park, I walked some and RAN some of the way. I have been trying to jog lately and get side cramps! See I can't run! But my co-worker said it's probably because I'm not hydrated, so good thing I have been drinking tons of water (going to the bathroom about every hour!) and when I did RUN to the park I didn't get a side cramp! So does this mean there is hope for me after all?!?! On the way back to the gym, I couldn't walk because they had just kicked my butt at the park! So I power walked with this older lady, who asked me why I don't RUN, I said because I have an extra 60 lbs that I can to carry with me and I have never been much of a runner, even when I didn't weigh as much. So she said to me, "that's what I thought too, but when I turned 47 I put my mind to it and ran and up until last year I was running 6 miles" I was like WOW! At 47 she decided to run! And I'm just 30, so if she could do it, so can I.....right? So she gave me a few pointers and I will run! I have decided that my goal is for the next Revlon Run Walk I will Run the 3 miles.....so I have tons of time to train for that, but this is my short term goal...I will run and I can run!
I posted on my fb page that I hope in heaven all the yummy foods are 0 calories! SERIOUSLY! I would like for an In-n-Out cheeseburger to be the healthiest thing you can ever eat! And as a snack I would like to munch on some fries and chocolate ice cream! BUT alas I am not in heaven (yet) so I must work hard at not indulging on the bad foods! I have been good about eating right and as a treat big Rene did get me some chocolate ice cream the other day, and boy oh boy did I savor every spoonful! It was yummy and I love that my big Rene supports me on my weight loss goals but also knows that once in a while a little ice cream won't hurt! Thanks to my big Rene! I have been trying something new to help with my eating....I tell myself...I eat to live not live to eat....I think I may post a sign up on my frige with this statement!
Friday, July 8, 2011
Thursday, June 16, 2011
disappointments and accomplishments
Sorry I haven't blogged in a few weeks but I injured myself again while working out and just felt blah.
Let's just start with the disappointments first:
1. I know God does things for a reason and there is a valuable lesson to be learned in every situation life hands you, but sometimes I just don't get it. I have a client whom had a baby 22 months ago, she is a meth addict and of course her baby was born with drugs in his system and he has developmental delays. Just to give you an ideal of how developmentally delayed he is, he is 22 months and doesn't walk yet. Well this same mom, just had a baby this week, he weighed 4lbs 11 oz, with drugs in his system, and he is unable to control his body temperature and feed. In both children mom says she didn't even know she was pregnant. How does this happen? Why does this happen? Who's learning the lesson here? I have several friends and relatives that had such a difficult time getting pregnant, keeping a pregnancy, and some have given up on having their own biological baby that they are waiting to adopt a baby. These friends and relatives are college educated, God fearing, law-abiding, and decent people. Although this happened 2 days ago, I'm still in shock mode that this mother is able to get pregnant and claim to not know she was pregnant BOTH times, continued to do drugs, AND carried almost full term babies that survived. God bless these children that although they were abused since conception, they made it, they survived, and hopefully there will be a loving home awaiting for them tobe adopted. And shame on the mother who continues to be destructive with her life and body which then carries on to a child. But as the ideal person I want to be, I can't look down upon her as this can easily be done, all I can do is continue to help this family and pray for the family.
2. When will people grow up? There are a couple of people (I won't name names, but you know who you are) that feel they can just tease others (myself). Does it make you feel good to tease another person? Does it bring some sort of happiness when you tease someone? What does it accomplish? I know when I was younger I teased people, but now that I'm older, I need to set a good example for my children so I have choosen to respect people because I want my children to respect others. I do not want them to become bullies and since I can only control my actions, I will simple ignore those rude comments that are directed my way. I will try to be the bigger person (although sometimes it kills me) and ignore. I wouldn't want to set a bad example to my children.
3. So about 2 weeks ago, I got injured working out again and this is such a big disappointment because I want to so badly lose weight and be healthy, but these injuries are just setting me back! I took 2 weeks off and returned to the gym yesterday. My knees and calves feel weak, but I have to build them up and make them strong. I can't let these injuries get me down. I have to push forward.
Now moving forward with the accomplishments:
1. My baby Rene just completed his 1 year of preschool and although it is such a big accomplishment for him and us to have made it through 1 year of preschool, it was so sad for him because he won't be seeing some of his friends again. I have seen tremendous growth in my son this past year, he started out not knowing how to write his name, now he knows how to write it and spell it. I'm amazed at all the other stuff he has learned, about insects, sea animals, new songs, space, different occupations, and much more!
2. My Olivia is slowly moving away from her terrible twos. Her little terrible twos behaviors have subsided recently and she is back to being my loving baby girl. I'm not going to lie that she's totally free of behaviors because no child is free from behaviors, but she has improved on her behaviors and she is becoming a little girl that is loving and caring to others. And that's all I can hope for in my children.
3. Since I started on this weight loss thing, I have lost 12 lbs, 27.5 inches (throughout my body), and 5% body fat! I'm super excited and know that this is just the beginning but WOW! Keeping pushing forward!
Let's just start with the disappointments first:
1. I know God does things for a reason and there is a valuable lesson to be learned in every situation life hands you, but sometimes I just don't get it. I have a client whom had a baby 22 months ago, she is a meth addict and of course her baby was born with drugs in his system and he has developmental delays. Just to give you an ideal of how developmentally delayed he is, he is 22 months and doesn't walk yet. Well this same mom, just had a baby this week, he weighed 4lbs 11 oz, with drugs in his system, and he is unable to control his body temperature and feed. In both children mom says she didn't even know she was pregnant. How does this happen? Why does this happen? Who's learning the lesson here? I have several friends and relatives that had such a difficult time getting pregnant, keeping a pregnancy, and some have given up on having their own biological baby that they are waiting to adopt a baby. These friends and relatives are college educated, God fearing, law-abiding, and decent people. Although this happened 2 days ago, I'm still in shock mode that this mother is able to get pregnant and claim to not know she was pregnant BOTH times, continued to do drugs, AND carried almost full term babies that survived. God bless these children that although they were abused since conception, they made it, they survived, and hopefully there will be a loving home awaiting for them tobe adopted. And shame on the mother who continues to be destructive with her life and body which then carries on to a child. But as the ideal person I want to be, I can't look down upon her as this can easily be done, all I can do is continue to help this family and pray for the family.
2. When will people grow up? There are a couple of people (I won't name names, but you know who you are) that feel they can just tease others (myself). Does it make you feel good to tease another person? Does it bring some sort of happiness when you tease someone? What does it accomplish? I know when I was younger I teased people, but now that I'm older, I need to set a good example for my children so I have choosen to respect people because I want my children to respect others. I do not want them to become bullies and since I can only control my actions, I will simple ignore those rude comments that are directed my way. I will try to be the bigger person (although sometimes it kills me) and ignore. I wouldn't want to set a bad example to my children.
3. So about 2 weeks ago, I got injured working out again and this is such a big disappointment because I want to so badly lose weight and be healthy, but these injuries are just setting me back! I took 2 weeks off and returned to the gym yesterday. My knees and calves feel weak, but I have to build them up and make them strong. I can't let these injuries get me down. I have to push forward.
Now moving forward with the accomplishments:
1. My baby Rene just completed his 1 year of preschool and although it is such a big accomplishment for him and us to have made it through 1 year of preschool, it was so sad for him because he won't be seeing some of his friends again. I have seen tremendous growth in my son this past year, he started out not knowing how to write his name, now he knows how to write it and spell it. I'm amazed at all the other stuff he has learned, about insects, sea animals, new songs, space, different occupations, and much more!
2. My Olivia is slowly moving away from her terrible twos. Her little terrible twos behaviors have subsided recently and she is back to being my loving baby girl. I'm not going to lie that she's totally free of behaviors because no child is free from behaviors, but she has improved on her behaviors and she is becoming a little girl that is loving and caring to others. And that's all I can hope for in my children.
3. Since I started on this weight loss thing, I have lost 12 lbs, 27.5 inches (throughout my body), and 5% body fat! I'm super excited and know that this is just the beginning but WOW! Keeping pushing forward!
Monday, May 23, 2011
this is hard...
Week 1 of trying to be the ideal me...
1. As a co-worker I kinda suck!! I try to be there for my co-workers, but I have been somewhat of a disgruntle employee...I have been spoiled in having 2 awesome (not all the time awesome, but comparatively speaking they were awesome) supervisors and the one I have had for the past year is sorta not awesome and I have been talking about her in a negative tone, when I know it could be worse! I could have a real witch as a boss (and she actually does exist) so I will attempt to look at the positives in my boss and not focus so much on the negatives when in realty I do not have it that bad.
2. As a mommy, I will not take my kiddos for granted, although sometimes they give me a headache, this weekend I actually saw God in them. As I was getting ready for a party and trying on different outfits that wouldn't make me look "big" (as if the outfit it the reason I look "big") I ended up crying, nothing felt right, it was either too tight, not my style, or too casual...ARGH! I ended up crying and my baby Rene immediately went to his dad and asked what he did to make me cry...I explained to baby Rene that daddy didn't make mommy cry, but I was crying on my own because I didn't feel good. So he looked straight into my eyes and said, "mommy, I think you are beautiful" and I cried even more, because I knew that this was a message from God. I felt God's presence, the same feeling I felt the day I accepted Him into my life as my Lord and Savior...I said to baby Rene, "thank you papa" and I whispered to God, "thank you for thinking I'm beautiful". This was a great moment in life because God sent me a message through my son, in the time that I needed to hear something uplifting my son said I was beautiful...I didn't tell him that I was feeling bad about my body or self image, all I said to him was "I don't feel good" and God immediately stepped in and sent me a message through my boy. All I can say is that I felt amazing in the outfit I picked out and had a great night dancing the night away with the hubby, friends, and family!
3. This past week I must pat myself on the back because I made it to the gym 4 times and I ate healthy Monday through Saturday evening, where I went to a party, and guess what they were serving.......Mexican food!!!! And not your average Mexican food!!! They had a Taco Man!!! My little heart wanted the tacos and my brain was saying "no way, you have worked soo hard this week to just ruin it now", but then my heart said, "you totally deserve it Mayerling, it's all about baby steps and 1 meal will not kill you" sooooo guess who won?!?!?! Yep I had 2 tacos, BUT they were chicken (I believe they are healthier than anything else they were serving) and just a spoonful of beans and rice....way less than if I were not watching what I was eating and I was happy. :o) On Sunday, again I gave out one 1 meal because it was another birthday party, but I limited myself to only 2 slices of pizza and then I had me some chocolate ice cream!! Hey those come along few in between months! What a treat! Besides, I plan to start again hardcore this week!!! So I'm on track!!! YaY for me!!!
1. As a co-worker I kinda suck!! I try to be there for my co-workers, but I have been somewhat of a disgruntle employee...I have been spoiled in having 2 awesome (not all the time awesome, but comparatively speaking they were awesome) supervisors and the one I have had for the past year is sorta not awesome and I have been talking about her in a negative tone, when I know it could be worse! I could have a real witch as a boss (and she actually does exist) so I will attempt to look at the positives in my boss and not focus so much on the negatives when in realty I do not have it that bad.
2. As a mommy, I will not take my kiddos for granted, although sometimes they give me a headache, this weekend I actually saw God in them. As I was getting ready for a party and trying on different outfits that wouldn't make me look "big" (as if the outfit it the reason I look "big") I ended up crying, nothing felt right, it was either too tight, not my style, or too casual...ARGH! I ended up crying and my baby Rene immediately went to his dad and asked what he did to make me cry...I explained to baby Rene that daddy didn't make mommy cry, but I was crying on my own because I didn't feel good. So he looked straight into my eyes and said, "mommy, I think you are beautiful" and I cried even more, because I knew that this was a message from God. I felt God's presence, the same feeling I felt the day I accepted Him into my life as my Lord and Savior...I said to baby Rene, "thank you papa" and I whispered to God, "thank you for thinking I'm beautiful". This was a great moment in life because God sent me a message through my son, in the time that I needed to hear something uplifting my son said I was beautiful...I didn't tell him that I was feeling bad about my body or self image, all I said to him was "I don't feel good" and God immediately stepped in and sent me a message through my boy. All I can say is that I felt amazing in the outfit I picked out and had a great night dancing the night away with the hubby, friends, and family!
3. This past week I must pat myself on the back because I made it to the gym 4 times and I ate healthy Monday through Saturday evening, where I went to a party, and guess what they were serving.......Mexican food!!!! And not your average Mexican food!!! They had a Taco Man!!! My little heart wanted the tacos and my brain was saying "no way, you have worked soo hard this week to just ruin it now", but then my heart said, "you totally deserve it Mayerling, it's all about baby steps and 1 meal will not kill you" sooooo guess who won?!?!?! Yep I had 2 tacos, BUT they were chicken (I believe they are healthier than anything else they were serving) and just a spoonful of beans and rice....way less than if I were not watching what I was eating and I was happy. :o) On Sunday, again I gave out one 1 meal because it was another birthday party, but I limited myself to only 2 slices of pizza and then I had me some chocolate ice cream!! Hey those come along few in between months! What a treat! Besides, I plan to start again hardcore this week!!! So I'm on track!!! YaY for me!!!
Monday, May 16, 2011
and so it begins...
so I should back-track a little, in late February of this year, I looked in the mirror and what I saw was not myself...I saw a thin person, yet when I would see myself in pictures, I would see a rather larger individual than the one I would see in the mirror...does this make any sense at all?!?! heck no...so that's when I realized my self-image was a bit distorted....I thought I looked great when indeed I DID NOT! well at least my body didn't look like it did prior to having my kiddos...I guess the many comments my relatives and co-workers were making towards me in reference to my weight gain must have phased me, I mean the comments were mean (I think I cried 2 times about mean weight comments) YET when I actually looked in the mirror I didn't see a fat girl...
so realty set in and I googled "bootcamp" because when I do things I tend to over-do-it...so I joined Yorba Linda Fitness Success Women's Bootcamp...look it up it sounds great! AND they guarantee weight loss OR your money back! Everything looked great until I got injured 1 week into it! My body is just not the same as it used to be back when I was a teenager or even in my early twenties...I now have knee pain (I'm sure related to my weight gain) and I tend to get injured quiet easily nowadays. Doc said to stay off for 2 to 6 weeks, I wanted to go back after 2 weeks, but the hubby said it's best to take another week so it was 3 weeks...I went back and got re-injured (and it was way WORSE and it HURT tons) so I decided to go ahead and take the whole 6 weeks off (ok maybe a little more) cause I just lost the motivation that I had back way back when in FEBRUARY!
So today was my official first day back at the gym...the trainer recommended I ease back into working out so the bootcamp will be twice a week and a session with a Cardio Coach 3 times per week....we shall see how this goes...wish me luck as I will need it!
oh yea and now I have to watch what I eat too! WISH me luck with that moreso than the working out part!!!
so realty set in and I googled "bootcamp" because when I do things I tend to over-do-it...so I joined Yorba Linda Fitness Success Women's Bootcamp...look it up it sounds great! AND they guarantee weight loss OR your money back! Everything looked great until I got injured 1 week into it! My body is just not the same as it used to be back when I was a teenager or even in my early twenties...I now have knee pain (I'm sure related to my weight gain) and I tend to get injured quiet easily nowadays. Doc said to stay off for 2 to 6 weeks, I wanted to go back after 2 weeks, but the hubby said it's best to take another week so it was 3 weeks...I went back and got re-injured (and it was way WORSE and it HURT tons) so I decided to go ahead and take the whole 6 weeks off (ok maybe a little more) cause I just lost the motivation that I had back way back when in FEBRUARY!
So today was my official first day back at the gym...the trainer recommended I ease back into working out so the bootcamp will be twice a week and a session with a Cardio Coach 3 times per week....we shall see how this goes...wish me luck as I will need it!
oh yea and now I have to watch what I eat too! WISH me luck with that moreso than the working out part!!!
Saturday, May 14, 2011
the ideal me is...
I have never "blogged" before, but I do follow 2 of my friend's blogs and these friends of mine live inspiring lives! The goal of this blog is to document the trails and tribulations of my journey to living my life as the ideal me!
In my ideal world, I am a loving and understanding mother, wife, daughter, sister, co-worker, and Christian. But of course I do not live in the ideal world, none of us do, but do I accept my flaws and just live with it OR do I make an earnest attempt to achieving certain goals in my life and make some real changes? Well my dear friends and family, I have decided to choose the path where I attempt to be the "ideal me".
With this blog I plan to journal my life as a mother, my beautiful children Rene and Olivia are my life, but sometimes these little rugrats test my limits and push my buttons. As a mother (and social worker) I can only pray to God to grant me patience during these times where I feel like pulling my hair out (as if I really need more hair to fall out since giving birth to these two precious souls) and take a deep breath and then address the issue at hand.
With this blog I also plan to journal my life as an overweight woman who loves food, loves chocolate, loves to lounge, and has a job where I am stationary most of the day, BUT this overweight woman knows that certain things in life have to give out in order to be a healthier me! I will journal my struggles (because we know there will be) on my attempts to losing weight, through exercise and eating healthy.
With this blog I also plan to journal my life as a Christian-free spirit- liberal woman...my thoughts on my relationship with the Lord, how I live my life, and the choices I make with Him in thought.
My hope is that as my friend or family, you can relate to my life...and share with me the joys and struggles of LIFE as we know it...
In my ideal world, I am a loving and understanding mother, wife, daughter, sister, co-worker, and Christian. But of course I do not live in the ideal world, none of us do, but do I accept my flaws and just live with it OR do I make an earnest attempt to achieving certain goals in my life and make some real changes? Well my dear friends and family, I have decided to choose the path where I attempt to be the "ideal me".
With this blog I plan to journal my life as a mother, my beautiful children Rene and Olivia are my life, but sometimes these little rugrats test my limits and push my buttons. As a mother (and social worker) I can only pray to God to grant me patience during these times where I feel like pulling my hair out (as if I really need more hair to fall out since giving birth to these two precious souls) and take a deep breath and then address the issue at hand.
With this blog I also plan to journal my life as an overweight woman who loves food, loves chocolate, loves to lounge, and has a job where I am stationary most of the day, BUT this overweight woman knows that certain things in life have to give out in order to be a healthier me! I will journal my struggles (because we know there will be) on my attempts to losing weight, through exercise and eating healthy.
With this blog I also plan to journal my life as a Christian-free spirit- liberal woman...my thoughts on my relationship with the Lord, how I live my life, and the choices I make with Him in thought.
My hope is that as my friend or family, you can relate to my life...and share with me the joys and struggles of LIFE as we know it...
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